Gok Wan and the sartorial elegance of the mountain biker.

It's bad enough seeing a photograph of yourself, but much worse seeing a photograph of yourself when dressed like a twat. Really, us mountain bikers need some advice when it comes to sartorial matters.

Tights, grey shorts, bee prescription glasses, an orange top and a £20 Decathlon helmet. This is me at Afan on Blade. Dressed like this I'd look a twat in normal society, yet amongst other mountain bikers I was but a norm. It's sad isn't it? Looking at all my kit, there's no way I could make up an acceptable looking, cohesive outfit. It doesn't help that I'm from the Midlands, so have a monopoly on looking like a dork anyway. There's no hope is there?

Please Gok, help!

To be fair I think all cyclists dress like twats. This is Box Hill recently:

I think you'll agree; there's not a single biker here dressed properly is there? And before you cast me asunder, go look in your own wardrobe, bet there's something hideous in there....