My bike totems - clearing up confusion. Are they about specific people?

Firstly apologies for this rather boring post. I've obviously screwed up in my writing of late, and am not explaining myself properly or writing clearly. My blog, my fault.

Hmm, my totems. What are they about? Well they are not about specific individuals for a start. Some people seem to think they relate to them personally, or to a targeted group of people that I've the hump with, but no, that's just being insanely vain and rather sad. My totems are not about individuals or indeed any people; let's clear that one up. If I have issue with individuals, I say - like KD wearing cotton no matter what the weather, or AD never buying a map or being able to plan a route that involves travel more than 100m from home, or BN taking umbrage at everything and sulking forever afterwards. Me? Well I'm a control freak that objects to being told what to do, so can be hard work. I've no issues personally with anybody that can't be resolved over a brew. I don't hold grudges and am happy to ignore things and move on in life. Nope, my totems are about the unspecified mean spirits you encounter on bike rides, or even around bike rides that just get in the way.

  • Punctures.
  • Going tubeless.
  • Stans' rims corroding to the point of failure.
  • Wax lubricant getting into my pawls.
  • Crappy coffee at cafes.
  • Not having enough money to prove N+1.
  • Back packs.
  • Grumpy walkers.
  • Being told that contact lenses are ace on a bike.
  • Finding my wife's car boot stash in The Man Cave meaning I can't even get to a bike. Actually this is Number One irritant.
  • Single socks in my sock drawer.
  • Wet feet.
  • Having no bike skills whatsoever.
Oddly enough the weather I don't have an issue with. It is what it is. And neither do I have an issue with Roadies. Still cyclists aren't they? Riding solo isn't an issue either, although I'd prefer not to.

So I apologise if you, Dear Reader, think my totems relate to you personally, but they don't. Whoever you are, wherever you are in the world, my totems do not relate to you. They relate to the life crap that can sometimes get in the way of a bike ride.