Today I submitted to the use of sat nav.

Muddy Ground has always slagged off Sat Nav as being a bit moronic.

I had to go from Gatwick to Hendon today. No idea of the route, and as I set off remembered that I had a sat nav in the glovebox, so turned it on. It said go to Purley, Croydon, Wandsworth, Hammersmith.... You get the picture; an horrendous journey at the best of times.

The sat nav was telling me to go right on the A23, but sod that; left would take me to the M25 and on up to the M40 which is 90% of the journey surely? Sat nav didn't mind I'd gone AWOL, but kept hinting I'd gone the wrong way. Yeah, right.

I got to Brent Cross in 40 minutes, which I know to be the journey time to Wandsworth alone. Following my nose beat the infernal device. It was only helpful for the last 200m, but that's not really any good is it?

I left it on for the return journey and it was funny. All the way back it kept telling me to go left, right or straight on. But for Pete's sake, who needs help to get out of London? I ignored the system and spent the whole journey being told that I'd missed the correct junction and that the device was recalculating a new route for this inept driver. But I got home in an hour. That's not bad for 45 miles through London is it? The device wanted me to go through blooming' Hammersmith again. Hendon to Redhill that way must involve 150 sets of traffic lights, an awful lot of stop-start driving. Even on the M25 it was annoying with it's carry on straight advice.

In the end to piss it off I got onto the A3 and turned off towards Leatherhead (stopping at the little cafe for the shitiest cup of £1.40 coffee ever). Device was not happy and wanted me to turn around. Why? The parallel road to the M25 was OK and just as fast given the horrid rain. Sat Nav wasn't to be outdone in the random journey stakes though. It wanted to miss Dorking out and willingly accepted my diversion to Headley. However when almost there it went back to form and suggested in a hectoring tone to cut back Now! to Boxhill. That'd be another four or five miles added to the journey then? Once again I ignored the git and went through good old Headley. And again the device was only correct route wise in the last 200m. But funnily enough I actually knew the turning to my own house from memory.

What a pointless piece of crap sat nav is. At no point was it of any use in near one hundred miles through London. Indeed if I'd used it my journey would have been an hour longer each way, possibly with up to twenty pointless miles added in.

Unimpressed I am.