Carve those turns rad boy!

Now prior to having seen this video I thought of myself as being a bit cool on the bike, perhaps even blindingly fast as a rider. I carve those turns boy! Certainly need that 140mm UK conceived radical hardtail; may even need a 160mm Alpine from Dialled Bikes! Yet in reality I mince through this little bit of singletrack with alarming trepedation, and could quite happily ride a shonky old hardtail at a similar speed. If you'd asked me after riding through this bit of woodland how I did, I'd have said fast with the bike laid down really low, carving those turns. Nobody could have kept up with me.

In reality I'm just an old man who should know better! For a start that top is going in the bin. Boy am I going to have to rethink what I am as a rider. Best put on hold the purchase of knee and elbow pads.

And here is AD's effort through the same series of turns. It's quite alarming how un-rad we are. At the time I'd have taken the piss out of AD for being slow, yet the videos tell a sorry tale of how painfully slow we both are. My suggestion is that if anybody asks what we do of a weekend, crochet or snail collecting should be our answers.

What I find interesting out of this is that whilst I downplay my hobby to neighbour's, and say that I just ride a bike, in my heart I've always felt "out there" in rad territory, that I hoon about the woods with reckless abandon. In reality I do just ride a bike don't I? And badly at that. Needless to say I've now removed the flatties from my bike and I'm going to stop looking at 140mm trail bikes. They're not where I'm going are they?

To me it's so shockingly bad that it's funny.

From now on please when reading my blog do take into account that I'm an ageing weekend warrior, and use the following word or phrase conversions:

Carve or railed a corner / berm = Rode it bolt upright, wobbling slightly.
Jump = Didn't.
Fast = Slow.
Slid / Slide / Drifted = Out of control.
Manual / Wheelie = Outright lie.
Other riders were way slower than us = They weren't really.
We showed the young uns a trick or two = We were embarrassingly bad.
Had to lower the saddle to clear a gap jump = Massive great big fecking lie.
Need 140mm of suspension = Pop down to Halford's for a shopping basket.
Trail centre's aren't real enough for me = They intimidate me.
Need to get over to Peaslake = Surrey gnarl all over again.
9mph average = yeah right, old man.
"Put the flatties on to learn new skills" = I'm just going to hurt myself now.