Slide and ride; Squirt or wet ride sir?

You know I'm a little worried. Here I am, a grown man with children, yet I find myself buying products whereby the sales assistant asks me rather detailed questions about personal lubrication. I mean, what business is it of theirs whether I want a wet ride or if I prefer to squirt?

Really you do have to question the marketing departments don't you? Squirt is especially bad in many respects as it is a white, relatively dense waxy liquid... and you have to shake the bottle. So there you are, kneeling down next to your bike, back to the wife giving something a vigorous shake. When she returns there is an ominous white, waxy liquid splashed on to the rear tyre and floor around your bike. You try explaining that one away.

Squirt v. Wet Ride.