When dad's go AWOL - my kids do not want to go too school.

Saturday. Wife off to watch the Voice finals in Slough. She's not interested in the show or the contestants, it's just a cheap day out for her and girly friends. Anyway means I have the kids. So, what to do. Normal family routine stuff, or go somewhere instead? We did have loads of normal stuff to do but sod it, we're off somewhere.

Aha! Mini festival at Brand's Hatch, that'll do. Kids go free, it'll do even better. So off we go at 9am, usual mayhem in the car seeing as how the controlling influence of mother isn't there. I'm not saying what we do but it is very, very silly. Not dangerous, and not on the public highway silly, but silly and fun all the same. Kind of stuff your dad let you do with the car in a field back in the day when nobody was watching.

I digress. My digressing does mean that the children were slightly hyper by the time we got there, but this just added to their fun. Had a mooch about, watched quite a few rather spectacular crashes then heard that Russ Swift was doing a demo. Well, this had to be seen so off we marched and it was well worth it. For all the crashes, mad dad games or chocolate fest that the day became, good old Russ on two wheels was the talk of the town. Both boy and girl were talking about it the next day.

Off home then? Nah, we picked up on some community playground on the way home which again ended in a chocolate and crisps frenzy at the local Happy Shopper - got to get some provisions in whilst they watch The Voice trying to spot mum on telly. Got a text from wife at around 5pm asking how our day went; still out dear! Eventually got home, with some odd incidents en route. Overtook one car in an harmless move only to have him honk the horn and flash his lights for ages. Took me some time to realise that maybe, just maybe after a kilo of chocolate each perhaps my children were making rude signs at him as we passed. What's life if children can't insult strangers behind your back eh?

The Voice was rubbish and none of us bothered to watch it, but it was an excuse to stop up late for them and they used it to the full building dens in the front room and secretly eating more crap behind my back. It's good to let them off the leash now and then.

Next day some rubbish sale event for me. You know it's going to be rubbish when the organiser tells you to use it as a networking arena. Yeah, right. Sell stuff or network with people that knit mug covers or daub stuff on to hessian bags? You chose. Problem being that you don't know the footfall in advance so take a gamble. Anyway chose this one as the kids could run riot with other children in a massive field and get cold, muddy and wild. Supposed to supervise them, but the place is nothing more than a hall surrounded by acres of grass right in the middle of the Winnie the Pooh Ashdown Forest. Children are supposed to play outside, and to a degree should do so without supervision. Naturally being 2013 you can't just let them run riot, but big field in the middle of a big forest is about as close as it gets.

Kids got muddy, wet and at times cold. They were hugely happy and did not want to leave. I even managed to sell some stuff - enough to buy a cake! The coffee was free.

Got home, kids knackered. Boy went to sleep pretty much instantly. Result.

So, two days of dad care results in little notes on the stairs this morning; Do we have to go to school dad?