How not to clean a mountain bike.

It's pretty wet here in the UK but I've been MTFU and have been out and about in the mud. Doesn't make me a hero but it does make for a mucky bike. The other day I got back not late but back to a wife on a mission to go out. "You've not the time to clean that, we're off" type scenario. So I had to leave my bike all filthy, and figured I'd clean it off today. Hmmm, wet again, not going to happen is it? So looking at my bike, now covered in about 2lb of dried mud I hit on a plan. Simples! Knock the mud off whilst hoovering it up using the vacuum cleaner. Bike can be cleaned indoors with no mucky residue.

This plan lasted approximately five seconds. The first bit I knocked off stopped as a big lump, got wedged into an intake somewhere deep within the machine, burnt the motor out, and tripped the main fuse board.

Top tip: don't vacuum your bike.

My bike is still muddy but now we can't even clean the house. Is this entirely my fault?