Our walk to school.

On two days a week I'm responsible for taking my two children to school. One is 5 years old, the other 7. We walk in. Now you'd imagine that we'd leave our house and follow the most direct route to school. That way it'd be a ten minute stroll.

Nah, it takes us between forty and thirty minutes to do. Why? Because we arse about. Kids'll find a wall to balance on, a stick to play with, we'll walk a different route to see where a path goes or what's at the top of a tall public building. We'll spot a neighbour walking their dog, or investigate broken toys left behind by children on a sink estate. My daughter may even call on a friend to see if they want to walk in with us. Invariably we'll go to a park and play on the swings. The other day we spotted a three legged cat, so that was followed so that they could stroke it.

It takes us bloomin' ages to get to school.

Yet when my wife does it she takes them straight there. No messing, ten minutes tops perhaps eight.

Gosh isn't my wife boring!

But wait. Is she in the wrong? She doesn't mess about, prevaricate over which way to go, undertake essentially displacement activities to avoid actually going to school. OK I'm never late, but you get the picture; she doesn't mess about and cuts right to the chase and delivers them there promptly and without fuss. I get them there, but eventually after having done 27 other unrelated tasks.

Personally I think that we are both right, but in our own ways. My wife couldn't do what I do, and I can't do what she does - cuts things fine. And I'm not convinced that our kids want either of us to change, and would possibly be bored if, say, I did each journey. There's only so much faffing you can do with your dad isn't there?

Oh and the three legged cat? That was educational. We spotted it hopping around and my kids instantly stated that somebody didn't love it as look at the condition it's in. Poor cat. but then I had to explain that actually somebody must really love the animal. We're on a poor estate where few people have any money, yet here clearly somebody somewhere has spent thousands getting the animal fixed up. That they've probably gone without quite a few things this year to afford it. Kind of changed my eldest child's view a bit, and she got the picture. Boy child was just as mad as ever, bless.

It's a lovely cat by the way. I can see why somebody loves it.